why god hates me

Did you receive text message spam from Timberland between 2003 and last month? If so, you may be eligible for $150 in we’re-not-admitting-guilt apology money from them, according to Info World:

Under the terms of a preliminary settlement agreement, [Timberland and e-commerce company GSI] will pay $7 million into a cash fund to reimburse those who received the messages, according to KamberEdelson LLC, one of the law firms that helped bring the suit.

To sign up for your slice of the $7 million pie—pending court approval—visit www.timberlandtextsettlement.com and register as a claimant. You have to register by Feburary 2nd, 2009.

“Timberland pays out to settle text spam lawsuit” [InfoWorld via IntoMobile]

One of the major sticking points of the inevitable Wall Street bailout was executive pay — but the New York Times says that Treasury Secretary and former CEO of Goldman Sachs, Henry M. Paulson Jr., has agreed to compensation caps for the executives of firms that benefit from the bailout.

Republican officials said Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson Jr. had agreed to demands from lawmakers in both parties to limit the pay of executives whose companies benefit from the bailout. The enormous pay packages of some Wall Street executives, coupled with the realization among nonwealthy Americans that the crisis could affect their financial foundations, have created an incendiary issue on Capitol Hill.

That’s a good term! It’s inclusive and condescending at the same time. “Nonwealthy Americans.” I’m a “Nonwealthy American,” how about you?

Paulson Said to Give Way on C.E.O. Pay; Bush to Speak [NYT]
(Photo: spinadelic )

Since we wrote about Hershey’s reformulating some of their products into “mockolate” that can’t legally be called “milk chocolate,” the story has been getting some play in the media, prompting Hershey to respond to the controversy. So, why did they reformulate their candy? Because you like fake chocolate better!

From the Patriot-News:

“Consumers love this, and people prefer the change,” [Hershey's spokesperson] said.

Cybele, who runs the Candy Blog, and has been working to make consumers aware of the changes in Hershey’s products, has been keeping a close eye on what she calls misleading statements on Hershey’s website. For example:

I don’t know if they can get away with calling the product Hershey’s Miniature chocolate bars when I found that 41% of my package were not chocolate bars at all.

Milk Duds haven’t been chocolate for years, but the description is still there:

Bite-size chocolate-covered caramels, MILK DUDS candy is a perfect snack for a night at the movies or anytime!

Slightly more disturbing was Cybele’s attempt to find out what is actually inside the Hershey’s Krackle Bar. They flat out wouldn’t tell her.

I called this morning and gave the representative my case number and she read back my request: What are the ingredients in the Krackel bar. The ingredients list on the Miniatures bag lists them all together and I want to know just what’s in that bar.

She asked me why I want to know.

I stammered that I wanted to know what I’m eating.

She asked if it was an allergy issue.

I replied that I wanted to know what was in that bar. If I ate only that bar, what would I be eating? (The package does say “something for everyone” so Hershey’s understands that sometimes people just pick through and eat only one variety.)

She said she did not have that information. It doesn’t exist in her records. If she wanted she could escalate me to a supervisor, but they had only the same info that she does.

Surely someone must know? Ultimately, the company decided that the recipe for the bars could not be shared.

The recipe for this bar is proprietary and cannot be shared.

Do they really think we’re going to try to make them at home?

Hershey changes recipes for some candies [Pennlive]
Hershey’s Website Inaccuracies [Candy Blog]

You know it was coming and now it’s happened to reader Joe. Joe says that his local McDonald’s has cruelly taken away both the Double Cheeseburger and the McChicken sandwiches from the cheap-as-hell glory that is the Dollar Menu.

Here’s Joe’s reaction:

I’m a resident of Chicago’s northwest suburbs and have now ran into atleast 2 McDonald’s where the dollar menu no longer includes the Double Cheeseburger or McChicken Sandwich. Both of the items are now priced at $1.19. I was curious if anyone else has had this occur near them.

Personally, I’m mildly glad of it. My lack of self control in eating fast food was strictly for those two items. Now that they’ve raised the price, no way am I going to mentally justify eating that food.

What do you think? Will an extra few cents make a difference in your consumption of fast food?

Will You Eat As Many $1.19 Double Cheeseburgers As $1 Ones?
( surveys)

(Photo: Ben Popken )

Well, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but reader Robbie has done everything short of hire someone to wait for his package, and still FedEx will not deliver it. Instead, despite Robbie’s best efforts, they keep leaving “Sorry you weren’t here” notes outside his door.

Robbie says:

1) I get a door tag on the door to my apartment with the box checked for “sign here for us to leave your package”.

2) The next day there’s another door tag for the same package, left right above the old signed door tag! I sign both door tags. On day 3, there’s yet a door tag, this time in the entrance hall of the apartment (this time he didn’t come up to my room to see the notes).

3) I call and ask about it, they say a signature isn’t even required (it’s a pair of shoes) and that the guy should have left it, that they will request another delivery, but “they can’t guarantee anything.” They take my phone number and say the guy will call me if he has any trouble.

4) I call back 3 additional times, getting the same response with a “we can ask the station to redeliver, but can’t guarantee anything” each time, and with them encouraging me to call back to ask again (?!)—They take no ownership of the issue or even acknowledge that there’s something wrong.

5) Finally I escalate and ask to talk to a “customer advocate”, who eventually calls the station (the other operators said they could only send electronic notices) and specifically orders re-delivery, and for them to leave it no matter what. Again, I provide them with my phone number (and the apartment door system is linked to my cell phone, so if he’d have buzzed, I would have known). I leave a signed door tag and a post it note with a request for them to leave the package, both on my front door *and* in the apartment entryway.

6) I return Saturday night to find another door tag, on the outside door to the entryway. My signed door tag and note is clearly visible from the outside door. Another door tag for another resident is on another mailbox!

7) The guy littered! The paper that covers the sticky part of the door tag is discarded on the pavement.

As a frequent online shopper, I’ve been at this place for a year and have had FedEx, DHL, UPS, and USPS deliver at least 2 dozen packages without incident. They all seem to have the keys to the building, and our door intercom is fully functional.

At this point I’m pretty sick of talking to FedEx. I’m tempted to email this to a senior executive (or one of their competitors). Any ideas?

If you ask me, delivery people who keep neglecting to ring the doorbell and instead leave those horrific notes are the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man.

That’s why we were pleased when Robbie sent us an update and said that he’s been getting a positive response so far after emailing FedEx’s executives. Good luck, Robbie.

If any of you are having similar issues, here is some contact information for you. And, of course, if you’ve ever had any success dealing with one of these evil, evil, note leaving delivery people, please do share your secret in the comments.

David used the classic Threaten To Cancel method to save big time on his cable bill, $238.92 per year. Better yet, he did it in the face of Comcast trying to raise his bill. Granted, it was by less than a dollar. But why pay more if you don’t have to? Here’s how he did it.

He told the CSR that he was not happy with service anymore and found it overpriced. The rep tried to get him to to a lower bandwith for a lower price. Dave said no, I just want to cancel. Comcast came back with $33/month for 6 months.

“I said that was a good price,” writes David, “but that I still wanted to cancel…unless he gave me that price for 12 months. He agreed, and now I am paying almost half of the full monthly rate, without having to add more services I don’t need (ie home phone and cable TV), or downgrading It seems like Comcast is very willing to keep the customers they already have, so take advantage of that and get yourself a lower rate.”

It’s not just David, here’s a couple of other readers who were able to do the same thing the same way:
Threatening To Cancel Cable Can Get You Discounts
Attention: You Lowered Your Cable Bill

(Photo: Getty)

If you want to know about the latest class action settlements as soon as they’re available, check out topclassactions.com. There’s an infrequently emailed newsletter to keep you posted as the settlements become available for joining, or just bookmark their open settlement page. Once you get over some of the hyperbolic language and unnecessary all-caps, the site is pretty useful because if you’ve ever tried Googling for class actions, there’s tons of crap and scam sites, and it’s nice to have a site with all the information under decent organization.

TopClassAction [Official Site]

Facing increased pressure from consumers and lawmakers alike, Verizon has announced that they will begin offering monthly cellphone plans with no early termination fees. Consumers wishing to take advantage of the plans will be required to pay full price for a phone, or provide their own phone, as Verizon will not be subsidizing the cost of handsets.

A spokesperson did confirm, however, the monthly members will pay the same rate as contract customers. If you’re already a Verizon customer, you can switch to the monthly plan after your current contract is up.

From Bloomberg:

Verizon, which made about half of its $24.1 billion in revenue last quarter from wireless service, agreed in July to resolve a consumer lawsuit over early cancellation fees by paying a $21 million settlement. The agreement covered contracts that had a flat-rate cancellation fee and were issued before Verizon Wireless introduced a declining-fee structure in 2006.

Verizon’s termination fees start at $175 and decline $5 for every month a user stays with the contract after 30 days. Customers can cancel for free in the first 30 days, Raney said.

Verizon Offers Monthly Plan With No Termination Fees (Update2) [Bloomberg]

In our post earlier today about the 65-year-old doctor who tried to use the bathroom on a recent Southwest flight and was subsequently arrested, we noted that the airline sent him an apology letter and a $100 voucher. That seemed kind of inappropriate for the situation, right? It turns out the letter was never meant for Dr. Madduri and was sent to him by mistake. According to our reader RedwoodFlyer (Sockatume also picked up on it), the letter was actually about him and was sent to all the other passengers on the flight; he was never meant to see it.

The problem was that the person who wrote the apology letter mixed up the gender of Dr. Madduri—which led him to believe it was about the female flight attendant in question—when really he was the individual with the “bizarre behavior.” When you read it with this new understanding, it becomes clear that Southwest fully sided with the flight attendant and never meant to communicate with Dr. Madduri about the issue.

“Dear Sivaprasad Madduri: Sometimes an explanation for the reason why things happen isn’t always possible, and the bizarre behavior of the individual during your June 26 flight to Las Vegas supports this point. While I’m unable to explain the circumstances surrounding the disruption, I think it’s important to offer my heartfelt apologies for any concerns you may have had as a result of this event. Naturally, we don’t want this experience to affect your feelings about flying with us in the future, or for it to be your last recollection of traveling with our Company.

“In fact, we would consider it a privilege if you gave us another opportunity to provide you with better memories. I am confident your next trips with Southwest Airlines will be more pleasant and to prove just that, I sent a LUV Voucher to every person (except, of course, the lady who caused the disruption) who was onboard your flight.”

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported on Dr. Madduri’s arrest and the apology letter back in July, and they were able to get a slightly different story from Southwest that naturally makes the airline come off in a better light, but still leaves many questions unanswered:

Brandy King, the spokeswoman for Southwest Airlines, said flight attendants were required to explain the cockpit-door and front-galley regulations as part of the preflight announcements.

Yes, but many of us zone out during those announcements.

King said the flight attendant tried to explain the regulation to Madduri during the incident. The criminal complaint, filed by the FBI, makes mention of a second flight attendant who allegedly tried to explain the regulation to Madduri after he returned to his seat after his first effort to get to the lavatory. The complaint says the first flight attendant again tried to explain the regulation to Madduri when he made his second attempt. The complaint states that Madduri said, “I’m not listening to you.”

Did the FBI talk to any of the other passengers? That would settle the argument. Sadly, the FBI office in Las Vegas did not return repeated phone calls.

“Doctor now regrets pleading guilty over incident on airplane” [STLtoday via airliners.net]

The bartender’s calling last call, but the night is still young. You’ve been chatting it up with a great guy all night, and you’re both ready to go beyond friendship and polite conversation. The question isn’t are you going to hook up? The question is where.

His Place
Pro: You don’t have to worry about the pile of dirty laundry on your bedroom floor.
Con: You have no idea if he has to worry about the pile of dirty laundry on his bedroom floor.

Your Place
Pro: You can easily access your toothbrush and contact lens solution.
Con: He can easily access all of the secrets of your medicine cabinet.

His Place
Pro: You don’t have to worry about waking up/sexiling your roommate.
Con: You have to worry about his roommates.

Your Place
Pro: You won’t have to take a walk of shame in the morning.
Con: You risk your entire floor seeing him leave your room. (more…)

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