why god hates me

In its largest ever hiring spree since 9/11, the FBI is hiring 850 new special agents and 2,100 professional support personnel. Maybe they’ll catch all those shady mortgage crooksters before they Jenga the system! Oh wait, too late. Next time there’s a sub-prime meltdown, though, we’ll be ready! [FBIjobs.gov] [CNN]

No more free beer at Busch theme parks. Anheuser-Busch InBev, the world’s largest brewer, will no longer offer free beer at its theme parks, which include Busch Gardens and SeaWorld, due to the “limited appeal” of free beer.

From the St. Louis Business-Journal:

“The hospitality centers had pretty limited appeal because it was for patrons who were of legal drinking age who wanted beer,” he said. “We were looking for something that had a broader age appeal.”

Park goers who are of legal drinking age will still be able to buy beer at the parks.

The AB InBev is expected to sell the theme parks in an attempt to pay off its debt from the $52 billion acquisition of Anheuser-Busch.

No more free beer at Busch theme parks [Bizjournals via Fark ]
(Photo: Ken1973 )

Who knew that it was so easy to get and furnish a ridiculous apartment in NY? 30th floor? Brand new? Single girl living alone? Yeah, that sh*t doesn’t happen in NYC, where the rent for a studio is $2,000 a month (and you can touch all four walls at the same time). But Whitney did! [...]

Wanna save on your Tmobile bill? Ask your company’s partnership rep if they have an employer discount available. Then you can call Tmobile Corporate Migrations at 877-453-8824 and claim your discount. In fact, if you Google that number, you can find the names of a number of companies and organizations that give their members Tmobile discounts. Perhaps you belong to one of them. (Thanks to Romeo!) (Photo: Ed Yourdon)

Suge Knight must be pissed!!!!

Several previously unreleased recordings by Tupac Shakur, Snoop Dogg and other Death Row artists will be going for sale at an auction for the rap label’s catalogue.

However, people are speculating that some potential bidders are worried about messing with the former Death Row boss.

Turns out Knight was forced to give up the catalogue in 2006 after he declared bankruptcy.

One source says that “it could be a tough sale. Some people don’t want to go near the catalogue because they think Suge still believes it’s his.”

Lydia Harris, who helped start out Death Row, knows this well. She was awarded a $107 million default settlement after she sued Suge last year. To which he told her after the court hearing, “You dead, bitch.”

So street!

And, although Harris reported the threat to the judge, nothing was done. Suge’s rep says “He has no recollection of that day.”

On a side note, looks like Suge’s threats aren’t really valid any longer cause Lydia is still alive.

Wonder if anyone will buy these recordings?

They go up for auction on January 15th.

[Image via WENN.]

This is inneresting!

According to new reports, DreamWorks is spending tens of millions of dollars to promote the animated movie Monsters vs. Aliens during this year’s Super Bowl.

A three-minute ’sneak peek’ of the flick is scheduled to air during the big game…..in 3D!!

Monsters vs. Aliens follows a group of ‘Earthling’ monsters who are out to save the world following an alien invasion and it features the voices of Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogen and Kiefer Sutherland.

There will be 150 million 3D glasses distributed free at Pepsi/SoBe Life Water displays at 28,000 locations including grocery, drug and electronics stores and big-box retailers (ie. Wal Mart, Target).

DreamWorks’ Animation chief executive Jeffrey Katzenberg called the stunt “perhaps the biggest media-advertising event in history.” He also promised that the quality of the 3D will be superior to what has been done in the past. The glasses will use Intel InTru 3D and ColorCode 3-D, which updates the old red-blue Anaglyph system.

The technology will also allow those without the glasses to see an almost ordinary image on the TV screen.

Screw the game!

We’ll be tuning in to see this promotion!

[Image via AP Photos.]

We don’t know what Acer is up to, but they’ve clearly figured out some way to make a lot of money by mailing unnecessary discs free of charge to customers. Do they own the envelope company? Is Acer secretly owned by the USPS? Or maybe someone at Acer is just trying to look busy. Nick writes:

To date I’ve received one batch of five flat pacs [and] one batch of seventeen flat pacs. Each flat pac has three restoration discs (for a total of 66 discs), none of the flat pacs I’ve received has contained the promised system disc.

Having bought an Acer AX-3200 ( a small HTPC with blu-ray, and a great price point) I open it to discover that Acer is too cheap to include restore discs. An obvious necessity what with the miasma of fatal errors lurking out there for the windows PC user.

I call Acer, doe-eyed in my naivete, to request some. Two weeks they say. Meanwhile I try to start the computer up, no dice, Vista falls flat on its face right out of the box. I call Acer, they say they’ll send some system restore discs, no charge, three day shipping. Great. I call Newegg, the retailer in all this, and they cheerfully take the computer back, sending me another overnight, stand up guys that they are.

The second computer works just fine. Blu-Ray is a huge pig, but that’s something else. Anyway, in the mean time five flat-pacs arrive from Texas each with three ‘Restoration Sdics’ (sic) and a piece of paper that tells me in four languages to insert the system disc before any restoration sdics. No system disc(s) to be found anywhere. Call Acer. A Texas twang tells me that you really have to have this system disc if you want to do anything. They’ll send just the system disc this time, because you know, tough times, and even Acer can’t be expected to remain unaffected, in some misty tower of waste. Ok, we’ll see.

Two weeks later these show up on the porch [see pic of 17 envelopes], all the same, none with a system disc.

Acer, you and Microsoft need to have a personnel swap meet or something.

Even though the usually reputable and reliable Access Hollywood reported on Monday that BiHan and Ronson have broken up - and Lohan even reportedly moved out of the home she shared with saMAN - that appears not to be the case. Or so Linsanity would like us to believe!

LezLo just took to her blog.

This is what she has to say!

“RUMORS

little piece of TRUE information:

we did NOT break up!

access hollywood, extra, et, every tabloid, page six… AND every GOSSIP website. Get your stories straight please. It’s really annoying to have all of your friends emailing you saying, i saw, i read, etc… NOT TRUE

xoxox Lindsay

Currently listening :
Rumors
By Lindsay Lohan
Release date: By 2005-01-11″

And there you have it!

Aren’t you glad she set the record, urggh, straight??!!

[Image via WENN.]

Oprah might be depressed, y’all!

Don’t be sad, Queen O. The universe will weep for you!

Oprah premiered her “Best Life” week on Monday, with an admission that she had “given up” on herself last year.

Although the Queen herself did not say she had been depressed, adviser and fitness expert Bob Greene suggested that the Queen might have been suffering from mild depression.

Just so you know, a fitness expert is not a qualified professional, no matter how many psychology books he’s read!

After speaking with the Queen last year, Greene said, “I looked in her eyes, and she wasn’t there. She was very vacant and distracted. It was alarming to me. I think I felt she was losing her zest for life, and that was one of the saddest moments.”

If the Queen is sad, there’s no reason to go on!

While trying to balance all the different aspects of her empire, the Queen had trouble sleeping and she began suffering from heart palpitations, and that’s when she began packing on the pounds.

Then she belatedly realized she had a thyroid problem, but that didn’t make her any happier. “All this year I’ve been hiding my body because I didn’t want you to see it. Here I am one of the most visible people in the world, trying to hide my body.”

But the Queen O has resolved to have a brighter, healthier, more balanced 2009, saying, “When you love yourself enough, you take care of yourself. You have to make yourself a priority.”

Stay strong, O!

[Image via WENN.]

On Monday, flanked by Secret Service, Michelle Obama accompanied daughters Malia and Sasha to their first day of school at Chelsea Clinton’s alma mater, Sidwell Friends.

The Obamas arrived in D.C. more than two weeks ahead of the inauguration so the girls could start classes alongside the other students, who returned from winter break today, Monday.

The soon-to-be first lady has previously said her children are her first priority and that she wanted their kids off on the right foot by having them start class with everyone else.

Michelle and the girls have been in D.C. since Saturday.

President-elect Obama arrived ‘home’ on Sunday night.

The Obamas are resting their hats at the fancy Hay-Adams hotel until they can move in to the White House.

That Bush blowhard won’t let them move in early!

[Image via Getty Images.]